March 7, 2010
An Ode to the Worst
The worst I ever had/ like a gun with no bang/ Fourth of July with no fireworks/ you’re minus the snap crackle and the pop/ A flat soda no fizz/ a flame with no spark/ A blow pop without the gum/ a tootsie roll that never gets to the center/ You're a paddle with no stroke/ a motor boat with no gas/ In the end you’re an everlasting gobstopper that doesn't last/ You’re a parade with one float/ a balloon with no pop/ for all of the best there are surly some worst/ you’re the worst I’ve ever had/
You’re a dried up lake/ a sunken ship/ a flower that never bloomed/ you’re an un-built house/ a house that never became a home/
You’re a snow slope with no snow/ you’re a Benz sitting on bricks/ you’re a piano with no keys/ you’re a limited cell phone plan/
Surely you must understand you’re the worst I’ve ever had/
You’re a baseball game with no home runs/ a football game with no touch downs/ a basketball game with no slam dunk/ a hockey game no goals/ you’re the losing team/ a defeated player/ you’re the man down/ the lost battle/worse the lost war/
You’re a HOT ASS MESS/
I must confess you’re the worst I’ve ever had/
You’re a Batman with no Robin/ A Super man less the Super/ you’re the Green Lantern with a burnt out bulb/ the Incredible Hulk without much incredibility/
You are the underdog/ you’re Wiley Coyote in every episode/ you’re the Elmer Fudd of life/ you’re Pinky without the Brain
You’re the best of the worst/ ahead as the last/ you’re #1 if we start from the end/ you’re bringing up the rear/ face it you’re just an ass/
You’re a King none the less/ with no Kingdom/ no Crown and no Glory/
You truly are the worst I’ve ever had!
